You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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