How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
