im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Im part way to drunk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
