I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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