you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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