The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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