yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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