if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's like heaven, but drunker
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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