i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize