"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
