Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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