you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
