my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
