You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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