By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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