I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
