her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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