And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
