No stitches, just platelets and will power
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
