So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
