just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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