I smell stomach acid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize