He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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