i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
