I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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