Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
