Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
