Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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