there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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