i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
