Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
