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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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