This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize