Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
