Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Dear god my vagina.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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