What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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