shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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