I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
