Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
