I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize