LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
