Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My vagina is very pro this idea
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
