I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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