If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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