That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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