worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I supernannyed him into submission
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
