just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
