Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
