TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
