I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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