It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
