I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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