He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
