I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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