I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize