oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
