At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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