belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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