that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
