On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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