Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
