I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
3pm strippers are depressing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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