why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
where are you?
Hypothermia
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize