How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
