THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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