at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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