Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
