Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
