You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize