Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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