i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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