you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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