this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
