On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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