Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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