You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
