She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
false alarm, still single
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
