none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
