So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
