There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You left your phone here
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